The best smurf fanfic ever
by pitufotontin
Summary: please,READ THE FIRST CHAPTER, the story of a human who turned into a smurfette,she is happy,but has a problem, all the smurfs fight for her, and smurfette , who is such a ***,to her
1. Chapter 1

**READ THIS , IS VERY IMPORTANT!**

**the tittle , is a joke,like the rest of the fanfic, this fanfic would be so terrible as i could be, is a parody to all the bad fanfictions i had read , but i don't want you be nice and say "your fic is interesting..blahblahblah, I want hear the truth,and the truth is,this will be bad, i am not lying, at the end you will be "OH,MY EYES!, but i do this for fun and just fun, so,lets see how good i can be being bad...**

* * *

_I wake up of my dream,was another nigthmare of my father beating me,it was a bad memory , like my mother who never interested in me,both hated me and i never knew why , i grew with them,in a very poor home _

_My name is Kumi, i used to be a human,but i found the smurf village, and i become a smurf,i am happier here, well,with exception of all the stalking , why do every smurf be in love with me? , what i have?, i am not beautiful, i just have a black hair, (so black that it looks purple), my eyes (unlike the rest of the smurfs) have all the colors in the rainbow , I look like a freak!, and well, my body is not smurfette's , i keept my curves of human, and damm, my breast are so huge, i have to ask tailor for plus sizes, and that is anoying!._

_But it seems like everysmurf love me, but i don't want a relationship for now, i never had telling to anybody,but when i was young , i was violated , i never knew who was, but since then, i didn't wanted nothing of romance_

_Well,the obsecion of the smurfs with me,is not the only thing i don't like..._

_"_KUMI!,you are on my way!, get away you looser!"

_that was smurfette,she hated me since i came here, i don't know why,probably cause when i came here,all the smurfs ignored her and saw me. The other reason is posibly because her boyfriend,hefty smurf, seems to have a crush on him , and it bothers her, but is such a hypocrite!, i saw her cheating hefty with handy, and i don't say nothing to her _

* * *

**just the beggining,is not so horrible as i promise, but calm down!, i promise that this fic will be in your top "worst stories ever" , so,destroy it!**

**Why smurfette?, sure i love her, she is so smart and sweet , but the most of the mary sues,need a canon enemy who is actually a nice character**

**I will do here things that i never would do in a real fanfic, maybe i´ll include the smurfettes crew, (but it will hurt) **

**And i am considering , not include,clumsy, he is my favorite, and is so cute, that i don't know if i could do something so horrible to him **


	2. Chapter 2

**after wash our eyes,from the first chapter,lets see this, thousand times worse!**

* * *

_I was taking my lunch , but none smurf took the look off me, i could swear than even grandpa smurf was looking at me (_Author's note: EWW!)

_smurfette was at hefty's side, both holding hands , but i could see the two were staring at me, hefty was looking at me with loving eyes,but smurfette's were full of hate , she stood up and walked towards me..._

_-_listen to me, you easy lady, i a m fine if this stupid smurfs think for any reason you are kind of pretty, but I warn you to stop flirting with my boyfriend,or we will be in trouble-

-What?, i am not flirting with your boyfriend, and look who is talking!, i saw you making out with handy yesterday..

_Her face turned pale..._

-what? you and handy?- _asked hefty_

-She is lying!, the only b***, here is she!-

_she poured a glass of grape juice on my golden,shiny dress, how mean is she!, this was a gift of my boyfriend before he died!_

_i felt the pain and i ran away with tears on my eyes , all the smurfs looked at me pityingly,with the exeption of sassette, who was laughting as much as smurfette , she want to be like her, she even dyed her hair blonde and started to wear that two-piece suits, with low cut and short skirt that smurfette wears, and sassette became almost as rude as she is , is following her footsteps_

_i saw like hefty faced to smurfette ,defending me_

-that was really mean smurfette, you have to apologize!

-i am not going to do that!, is she who is mean to me!, now come on, i want you paint my house!-

-i am you boyfriend , not your slave!-

_But she glared at him ,with her most terrible look,and followed her submissively when she indicated_


	3. Chapter 3

**this will be hefty's POV (sorry hefty,i love you,nothing personal), remember he is all OOC ,cause this is part of a bad fanfic **

* * *

_Smurfette was so cruel to her, good, Kumi is so beautiful, yeah, smurfette is also pretty, but she can't be compared to Kumi , her black and soft hair is like the most beautiful night , and her eyes...she really have the rainbow in her eyes, smurfette's eyes are a black color with no life , and her hair was sickly yellow, i really wish i was dating Kumi and not her, i am so stupid!, the only reason i am with her is because i had no option, i didn't wanted to be alone, but then Kumi came, and my heart really felt alive (_**A/N: i swear i am not enjoying writting all this , is sooo horrible!) **

_But she never will see me, there is no way that a girl like that fell for me, thats why i am with the soulless blonde._

_She doesn't seems to apreciate me, she just want i do her tasks and defend her for any danger, and well she want to make out , all the time!, and more than once she tried go farther , but i refused, if i do something like that one day, i want that Kumi would be the girl._

_But it just can't be , I am condemned to live forever with smurfette, i want to break up with her,but she scares me, she is so cold and manipulative, i am afraid she do something to me _

_I know she is cheating me with handy, i am not stupid, but i guess i have to live with that,i am really pity for who will be sassette's boyfriend,since she is just like her sister,or at least she want to be_

* * *

**hefty's fans, PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!, this is the most OOC i could (he will be more ooc if he will be evil) , and yes, i don't like the hefty and smurfette couple, but the reason is too far to be the descripted by "hefty" , here **


	4. Chapter 4

**now,lets continue with this "awesome" story , that you will hate **

* * *

_Hefty finished of paint smurfette's house , he did all the job while she was just lying in the sofa , drinking a smurfberrie juice_

-you could had help me, i am really tired-

- i am a lady,ladies like me,don't work so hard-

_A second lather, that "lady" burped,making him felt disgusted _

- yeah,but you don't work nothing-

_he covered his mouth , as she looked at with with her dark eyes.._

-what did you said?-

-that...i love you-

-ewe!, don't say that word!, is so stupid and cheesy,we have only been together nine years!-

-you know..you are right, i don't love you-

-what?, how can you don't love me? i am the most beautiful smurfette in the world-

are not...

-excuse me?-

-Kumi is,she is the most beautiful girl in the world-

-KUMI!, how can you say that?-

-is the truth, you are kind good looking,but you are so rude and disgusting that you are ugly inside and you have no is beautiful,outside and inside, and she is better than you in all senses-

-YOU...

-i don't care whatever you say!, i just was with you because i tough "is better than nothing", but actually,be single is better than you, now i´ll do what i had to smurf so years ago,i´ll tell Kumi that i love her...

-WHAT? NO!, YOU ARE MY BOYFRIEND!-

- not anymore-

_he stood up and walked towards the exit_

-NOSMURF BREAK UP WITH ME!-

-sorry,i just did it-

_he slammed the door and she trowed a lamp against the wall_

_-I_ HATE KUMI! I HATE HER I HATE HER!-


	5. Chapter 5

_**you thik the fic was bad?, that was nothing compared to this**  
_

* * *

_The beautiful smurfette was near to the river,washing her hair ,is not that she didn't look pretty before,she was pretty although she would be covered in dirt _

_"_hey Kumi"

_it was handy smurf, she allways touhgh he was one of the most handsome smurfs in the village , besides hefty,but he was already taken _

-hello handy,What brings you here?-

-well,i just broke up with marina-

_marina was handy's mermaid girlfriend , she was pretty,but of course ,not as much as Kumi_

-but why?..you don't love her anymore-

-no, i don't...

_He hold her hands and looked her directly at her eyes_

_-_i love you know...

_she was shoked...handy?, in love with her?,that was imposible, nobody loves her, just the whole village!,but nothing more, and how could he?_

-you?...is this a joke?

-no,i had love you a long time ago, since i see you the first time,i just waste my time with marina, now i got tired of hide my feelings, i love you,you are the only for me...

_Kumi almost faint,it was all true?_

_-_oh handy i...

_she really wanted to say,i love you too,but she also had feelings for hefty, but then she though "he loves smurfette, he never will be into you"_

-handy...i love you too

_Both hugged and kissed passionately,sealing their romance_

_unfortunately,somesmurf had seeing them,nothing more than hefty smurf,who was with a bunch of flowers , waiting to declare his love , but now, he was into tears and ran away, with his heartbroken_

* * *

_**lets see what is wrong with all this:**  
_

_**-**_**our mary sue is beautiful,no matter what **

**-She don't have one, but two!,love interest**

**-Handy go directly, in the cartoon,when he was in love with smurfette , he was very timid, and with marina hefty had to push him,to he go close to her,so no,he wouldn't be so direct, oh,don't forget that in prev chapters he cheated on marina**

**-Hefty,is crying , because his love doesn't love him back, have you seen how many times smurfette had reject him?, he never cryed, he is a though guy **

**_other thing ,that is not actually a requirement to the fic be bad,but it bothers the mostly of the smurfs fans: handy and marina's break up, as the 90% of the fans like the pairing , and is the most popular,and in a bad fic the most popular pairing is broken_**

**_And hefty and smurfette are possibly the second most popular, with approximately 60% of aproval,so this will be bother some fans too_**


	6. Chapter 6

_the new and happy couple , hold their hands and went to the village, when all the smurfs saw them,they shocked_

-Guys,i know what are you thinking about, but i love handy,and i hope you all could accept our relationship-

_all the smurfs claped at them,but were sad to see the object of their affection with another _

_Kumi,however, just could think in the new chapter of her life_

_Hefty was crying under a tree_

-oh,poor hefty,it seems like your girlfriend is not that into you- said smurfette cruelly

_he stood up and pushed her away,and walked towards Kumi and handy _

-Kumi,you do a terrible mistake,i love you,and i should be your mate-

_Kumi gasped in surprise , hefty was in love with her?, but what about smurfette?_

-i left smurfette for you, i want we be together-

_Handy's face turned red_

-I saw her first!,get out of my way!-

-no!, i love her and i won't lose her again-

-guys,please,don't fight for me-

-yes!,let her alone!-

_Handy punched hefty's face and both started to fight,beating each other, Kumi was desesperate and tried to separate them, but she couldn't_

-they should had been fighting for me!-_said smurfette_

_-_HANDY!,HEFTY!, STOP PLEASE!-

_They stoped cause they didn't see her crying_

-you have to choose Kumi-

-yes,is me...or this smurfhole-

- i ...i don't know...you are both so great and...I DON'T WANT HURT ANYONE!

_she was frustrated,two amazing guys fighting over her, could be worse?_

* * *

**fine,this is not too ooc,as hefty and handy had figthing over a girl before **


	7. Chapter 7

**_smurfs belong to peyo_**

* * *

_Kumi were sleeping on her bed , trying to don't think on that two smurfs trying to win her love,but she heard a knock on her door _

_she went to open,praying for it wasn't hefty or handy...it wasn't they, but was somesmurf worse..._

smurfette: you are the most horrible smurf ever

kumi: i, why do you say that?

smurfette: because of you ,the smurfs are figthing all the time,i don't know why cause, come on, you look ugly, but for any reason, they are all in love with you,specially hefty and handy, they used to be best friends and for your fault, they are not more

kumi: but..it wasn't my fault,i couldn't help, it is the same in anywhere!, all the males fell in love with me despite i am not atractive!,i don't like it happends, but it still! men just thing i am the most beautiful girl in the world,AND I HATE THAT!, have you an idea of how many towns i had to leave cause i make troubles because of my beauty?

smurfette: well,if you don't want to destroy THIS village, i say you should leave us

Kumi: but i can't, hefty,handy and papa smurf...

smurfette: papa smurf?, he was the one who decided you have to leave

Kumi: re...really?

smurfette: of course!

Kumi: i can't to belive it,...fine,i´ll leave tomorrow..

smurfette: i hope you...

_She walked away of the house, and jumped out of joy_

smurfette: YES!, FINALLY I WON'T SEE HER AGAIN! , haha,she is so inocent that she really belive that papa smurf wanted she left


	8. Chapter 8

**_lets continue this horrible thing_**

* * *

_Kumi was walking sadly,she missed the village, but she didn't wanted the smurfs still figthing for her , specially hefty and handy, it was the best for them;_

_She sat and made a fire, cause, the smurfs didn't knew that, but she was a magic girl since she was human, she didn't say nothing cause she didn't wanted smurfette be more jelaous of her._

_She fell asleep,waiting the next day,be better;_

_But had a nigthmare, she had been captured by gargamel, he stole all her magic and used it to attack the village, and destroyed hefty,her dear hefty, who had broke with smurfette for her and she just accepted dating handy , she loved both, everyone was amazing to their own way_

_Hefty was sensitive (_**A/N: i can't to belive it)** _, and athletic , his relationship with that evil blonde was just a mistake and she knew he only loved her_

_But handy was quite smurfy too, he was smart , although he was kind of smurf-anova (like casanova) as he dated smurfette and marina at the same time, but sure,he trully loved Kumi and never would do that to her_

_Anyway,it doesn't matter,cause she never will see none of them _


	9. Chapter 9

_**Guys, i really apreciate all your flames about this horrible fanfic, you are the best!, now, continue with this, but i want do this MORE horrible, so, i would like you tell me in the comments, what you HATE in a fanfic? **_

_**And critic me, as i was a REAL writter and this is weren't a parody , like i were another diferent person**_

* * *

_In the morning hefty and handy went both at the same time , to Kumi´s home, both glared at each other and knocked the door _

handy; you are smurfing your time, hefty,she will choose me

hefty: why do you say that?

handy: cause, i am better looking, smarter and smurfier , you ...who will choose you,having somesmurf like me?

hefty: yes...i think you are right...but i love her,and i´ll fight for her

handy: will be a very short battle

_they waited for Kumi , but she never went out _

hefty: kumi?, are you there?

handy: we can't hear you

_after thousands of hours,they decided to broke the door , and go there _

hefty: KUMI!

handy: WHERE ARE YOU?

_they looked for her in everyplace of her castle (cause, handy was so in love with her that she had a castle instead of the symple hut) _

_After didn't found her, both began to mourn _

hefty: my sweet and dear little flower is disapeared

handy: she is MY little sweet flower!

hefty: MINE!

handy: SHE IS MINE!

* * *

_After having a big fight, they told papa smurf about her, he made the village met in his house, smurfette couldn't be more happier _

papa smurf: my little smurfs, our dear and beloved Kumi is lost

_All the village,but smurfette and sassette started to scream and running out of control_

_"NOOO! KUMI!, NOT KUMI!, WE LOVE HER!" _

papa smurf: shut up you #$&"!, we have to make a group to find her

hefty: i´ll do it , papa smurf, she is my love

handy: not if i found her first


	10. Chapter 10

_**lets continue, and i need you told me in your reviews , i should make my gramar bad on purpose, (cause i am not good at english) but if I have a horrible grammar, this fanfic would be worse**_

* * *

_Hefty was destroyed, broken, He couldn't belive that he had lost his sweetheart , He still remember that frist time they meet:_

_She was on the forest, tired,wounded and bruised, Was walking alone, looking for help, He was the first to see her and ran to her to see if she was fine, although all the bruises she had,she still looking gorgeous, she was one of that girls, whose beauty never leaves,even in her worst moment, it was love at first sight_

_He didn't see her with his eyes, he saw her with his heart, and it knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life _

_And then, he regret the moment he asked smurfette to be his smurfriend and she said yes , now he never could be with that smurfette_

_When he took her to the village , she cleaned herself and was even more beautiful , she touched his hand to thank him and that single moment was magical_

_Because of that, he was sad cause he didn't found her , would she in the forest again and maybe found another true love?, no, we won't let that happen, he was free of smurfette and he will get his love back_

* * *

**_This was cheesy guys, it hurted, and hefty, am soooo sorry _**


	11. Chapter 11

_The black haired smurfette was sleeping under a tree,the little animals of the forest were staring at her beauty , she wake and pet them a little _

Kumi: i don't know where i could go, i miss the village

_What she didn't knew,is that gargamel,was watching her , and knowing that she was a kindhearted , made a plan _

_"help!, HELP!"_

kumi: what is that?

_she found the wizard in the ground, writhing in pain _

gargamel: my leg hurts!

kumi: is gargamel...oh no, but he is hurted, ...i can't leave him here...is my enemy,but i should help all living creature

_She went closer to help him, but the evil wizard grabbed her with a hand and laugthed _

gargamel: now i´ll have you for dinner! hahaha!

kumi: nooo!, please let me go!

gargamel: nobody can hear you! you are alone

_she smurfette cryed while the wizard was taking her to his hut_

* * *

_in another place,near to the village_

hefty; kumi...she is in danger!

handy: what?

hefty: she is in danger,i can feel it


	12. Chapter 12

_They went to the wizard's home,when he was ready for cook Kumi,who was tied and in a cage _

hefty; i have to save her!

handy; no, i have !

hefty: why could be both together?

handy; cause you´ll try to get her and is mine...

_Kumi saw them , but she didn't feel good,she would prefer die,than that two guys still fighting for her ,it hurted _

_unfortunately,gargamel saw them and the cat chaase them_

Kumi; no!,please, make everything you want to me!, but don't hurt THEM!

_Gargamel was about to capture them, but then, all the village came to gargamel's hut,not willing to allow He kill their love life _

_Smurfette was there too,but she didn't seem to want to help_

Papa smurf: gargamel!, let kumi go,and we promise you are not going to be smurfed

gargamel: are you threatening to ME?, don't make me laught

smurfette: it seems that gargamel haven't eaten in a long time,please let him have a dinner with that stupid Kumi

hefty: wait,i have an idea!

handy: shut up smurfette!

_he pushed the blonde to gargamel _

hefty: take her instead of kumi!

smurfette: whaaat?

handy: yes gargamel!, take her!

_All the smurfs cheered in approval _

gargamel: well, i take it

_He grabbed smurfette with one hand and put her in the cage that Kumi was _

smurfette: you can't do this to me!

_The smurfs didn't looked at her ,cause they were starring at Kumi,happy to have her save_

Smurfette: papa smurf!. you are not going to let this happen...right?, you are going to save me!

papa smurf: sorry,smurfette, but her life is more valuable than yours

smurfette: NOOO!...

sassette: and be like Kumi is now so much better

_She put on a costume similar to Kumi´s dress , and a wig that looked like her hair_

_Kumi couldn't belive it what was just happened...hefty loved her...he loved her so much that he had sacrificed another girl for her, ...it was just the most romantic thing she´d ever seen..., his love for her should be bigger than she though _


	13. Chapter 13

**Guys...you_ are going to die with this chapter,what is in bold,means that is an author note _**

* * *

_Gargamel was ready to put smurfette in the pot to cook her _

smurfette: please no!,i´ll do whatever you want!

gargamel: there is nothing better than see you in pain (**is gargamel,is not too occ for him,but in lather chapters,he will be more out of character)**

_But the redhead boy , next to him, tried to grab smurfette _

scruple: no uncle, don't do it, is a poor creature (**YEAH! , i know the boy is a jerk,more than even gargamel!, i need to make something like this)**

Gargamel: i don't care

scruple: please uncle, don't kill her!

_the boy looked at him with sad face and the wizard snorted_

gargamel: fine, but just this time

_he left smurfette go, and the cat tried to lick her,affectionally but her (as mean she was) pushed him away _

smurfette: don't thouch me you #$&) cat!

* * *

_Back to the village, the smurfs were celebrating they have Kumi back_

Kumi: you never wanted me to leave?

papa smurf: course not, smurfette lied to you, she allways do that

Handy: hey Kumi!

_He went to her, along with clockwork smurf_

Handy: he is clockwork, he wanted to meet you

_What handy didn't knew , is that the robot had broke up with his former girlfriend, because of he heard about Kumi, and with just hear her name,he fell in love with her _

_"_ahem!"

_Everysmurf turned back and saw smurfette alive,and very angry _

smurfette: how could you let gargamel almost eat me!

hefty: oh smurf, why is she still alive?

smurfette: I CAN'T TO BELIVE THAT YOU PREFER KUMI OVER ME!

papa smurf: calm down, you are alive stop complaining

_She was totally mad, while the smurfs were with Kumi, she saw someone crying under a tree_

_It was clockwork smurfette,as said before,her mate had let her for Kumi _

Smurfette: you hate her ,right?

_The robot nooded_

smurfette: do you want see her died?

_One more time,she said "yes"_

smurfette: so, follow me,we´ll teach her to don't mess with another girl's boyfriend


	14. Chapter 14

_**this chapter will be short**_

* * *

_Kumi wasn't confussed, she knew what she had to do, hefty loved her , and she loved him , so she must go with him and tell how she feel , no more smurfette , he is the only one for her,and she is the one for him (**Man,this is so cheesy i feel sick) ****  
**_

_She was on her way to find hefty, when handy,calling her, interrupted her thoughts_

-handy, what are you doing?-

-kumi, i have to tell you that, don't choose hefty, i am thousands better than him-

-sorry handy, but i love him-

-but what does he have that i don't?

-is just...is something special,i can't tell it with words-

_the smurf bowed his head,sadly_

-i understand. i won't smurf in your way anymore-

-sorry handy-

-well,i guess i still have marina-

_kumi´s eyes opened_

-what?, you are going to be back with her?-

-yes,she is not you,but is better than nothing-

-but...you said you loved me...that i was your only love...

-you are, but you love hefty-

-i do!, but i can't leave knowing that you are not thinking on me anymore!-

-sorry, i already decided-

_the smurf let her crying, how could he?, how could try to forget her?, it was so selfish of him_

* * *

**_i think this has to be the worst chapter,don't you think?,at least until now_**


End file.
